


Like The Sun

by maddiebats



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Father-Son Relationship, Irondad, Protective Tony Stark, Suicide Attempt, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:35:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21869134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maddiebats/pseuds/maddiebats
Summary: "What if the one thing that I missedWas everything I need to pass the testAnd if I fail, what happens then?Can I still count on you as a friend?"--------some Peter angstTW: suicide attempt, nothing graphic.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 11
Kudos: 128





	Like The Sun

The remaining pools of sunlight blinded his heightened vision, the white noise from the ceiling fan echoed against the rooms walls.

Peter could hear breathing, he could hear the footsteps echoing from a floor above him, and if he pretended hard enough, he could hear May's breath, hear her heartbeat, and even soft flapping of her slippers that talked every time she took a step.

"Oh they still work Peter!" 

May would say while hitting him with a dish towel.

But May wasn't here, he wasn't in his apartment in Queens and there wasn't enough tears in his head to come out anymore. 

The boy blinked away the sunlight, frustration building inside him.

It wasn't fair! 

The sun never let him sleep even with the blacked out curtains. All the heartbeats he tried singling out didn't match his aunt's, The foot steps never silenced, and May was never coming back.

Sitting up in one quick motion, Peter threw his pillow at the window, and let out a frustrated yell when the shade opened up even more.

With blinded anger he hopped out of the bed that was still too foreign to him, and ripped at the thick curtains, the sunlight burned his eyes, even thought it was half dimmed from the evening sky, that pain still wasn't enough to make him feel anything. 

Peters shirt was twisted awkwardly around his torso, the 'Stark Industries' logo was halfway around his back, and with his thin frame, the shirt nearly drowned him, equally thin legs nearly buckled when he stumbled to the bathroom. 

Peter's breaths were ragged and angry.

How unfair was it for him to breathe? 

To live on,

When his family had already left him? 

Mom, Dad, Ben, May?!

Tears flowed down his cheeks as he ripped open the medicine cabinet, the first thing he saw was a prescription bottle, 

"The good stuff" as Bruce had called it.

He fumbled with the cap, and with shaking hands he poured out the contents. 

The thick horse pills shook in his hands and stared back at him with their blank surface.

One pill equaled about 900 MG of Ibuprofen and Codeine and whatever else Banner had thrown together for him and his stupid resistant metabolism.

If one pill was strong enough to relieve the pain from a bullet wound then maybe all of them would be strong enough to-. 

"DROP IT PETER!"

Clammy hands immediately released the empty bottle, his other hand still clutching the pills. Tony rushed to the frozen boy, Peter sucked in a breath he didn't realize he was holding when Tony wrapped his hands around the boys wrist, 

"DID YOU TAKE ANY!?"

Tony voice was frantic, shaken. 

Peter stood frozen as the man tried to pry open his hands. 

"ANSWER ME!" Peters head snapped back up at the booming voice.

He just shook his head, trying to step away from the man but he held his grip tight.

Tony's shoulders visibly relaxed but his grip was even tighter. 

"Pete I need you to let go." 

Tony's voice cracked, his eyes rimmed with redness.

Peter tried pulling away again, he bit his lip and shook his head, his face contorted in sadness as the tears freely fell from his swollen eyes.

"I can't"

Tony's grip tightened when Peter made a move to bring his hand to his face. 

"FRIDAY give me a hand!" 

Tony yelled to his AI and then nanities emerged from a pair of bracelets on Tony's wrist, it took two armored hands to pry the boys fingers open, and soon several pills fell to the white tiles. 

Peter gasped and he let his knees buckle.

As quickly as Peter tried grabbing the scatterd pills, Tony fell with the boy and wrapped his arms around his torso, the spider-lings back pressed against Tony's chest. 

His arms pinned to either side.

"Shh Pete, please calm down." 

Tears were now freely falling from the distressed mans face as he had to restrain the boy with half a body of armor.

Peter yelled out in frantic screams, that would follow with moments of silence, a few sniffles, and then back to full panic-mode. 

This went on as long as Tony could think to glance at his watch and see that nearly 3 hours had passed.

Each hour passing with reassuring whispering and rocking the boy in his arms like he was an infant.

Tony kicked away as many of the cursed pills as he could, and finally after god knows how long after that- the boy calmed enough for him to turn and face him.

Peters eyes were blown wide- in fear or shame, Tony couldn't tell.

He sucked in a gasp and another choked sob followed, "i'm s-" 

"Shh..."

Tony cut his apology off and closed the space between them, wrapping his arms fully around the boy, not restraining, just hugging him.

The nanities retracted back to the bracelets and Tony carded his free fingers though the boys matted hair, gently pulling out any tangles he felt.

"I- I wasn't thinking, I just t-thought -that I could.."

Peters voice trailed off as Tony's hand still ran through his hair. "thought that you could what Petey?" 

peter buried his head deeper in the mans chest, hoping to reclaim as much of his dignity as he could.  
What the hell was he thinking? where had the anger come from, why did he want to suddenly end his life!? sobs racked the boys frame as his eyes landed on the discarded bottle on the floor, the warning label of "do not exceed more than 1 tablet in 24 hours." mocked him at the horrible feat he almost committed.

"Oh honey."

Tony shushed the child in his arms his grip tightening when Peters sobs increased.

"Were alright, were OK." 

He didn't know if he was trying to convince himself or Peter..

Tony lifted the boy from the floor, not nearly as heavy as he would have liked.

Peter stood on shaky legs, letting the man heft him in his arms and carry him out of the room. Tony's eyes scanned the busted window shade, and merely sighed.

Peter could destroy this whole tower.

He could beat on as many things as he liked, 

Break as many Iron Man suits and innocent window shades as he wanted,

He'd let him destroy the world.

All before he'd let Peter hurt himself. 

Tony scrunched his eyebrows in determination, Iron man was bullet-proof, he could stop a moving train, and hold up an entire building, hes been toe to toe with super-soldiers, aliens and robots.

But then again...he wasn't Iron Man right now, not even Tony Stark.

Just a man carrying a crying child who nearly took his own life, if a AI system didn't alert him to- 'Boss Peter seems to be in distress'

Tony breathed out, trying to calm his still racing heart, his anxiety flared through the roof when he shoved open the boys door and saw the room in disarray ,and even more panicked when the bathroom door was wide open and a grieving teenager held a handful of pills to his mouth. 

Tony shoved that picture to the back of his mind, because right now, in this second, Peter needed him, even if he was willing to commit a horrible act, pretended he didn't want the help- Peter needed him. 

The boy didn't even know where they were going, the sounds of elevator doors dinging and a case of stairs later, Peter lifted his head from the warm chest when he felt a cold breeze blow across his skin. 

The roof.

Peter swallowed as Tony walked them to some patio chairs that were overlooking the new York skyline.

It was beautiful, he had to admit. But how cruel was his mind to think that now matter how much he loved the view and the night lights as he swung rooftop to rooftop in his spider man suit, the urge to hurl himself off the roof was stronger. 

Which is why Tony held onto his arm as he sat them in separate chairs- he had to scoot closer to keep distance between peter and the edge- but the gesture was appreciated. 

"I get it." 

Peter opened his mouth, surprised he was the first to speak. 

"get what Pete?" 

Tony held no mocking tone in his voice, he wasn't condescending in his tone or angry, he was just Tony.

"all this." Peter gestured to the view with his free hand. "you're trying to show me the 'bigger picture' and all that." 

Tony smiled, and looked down at his lap. It was silent for a while, just the sounds of night traffic below and blowing air. Peter wanted Tony to yell at him- to scream at him for how stupid he was! And how he was going to disown him for being so weak and what not- but no. 

Instead Tony just looked at the view and sighed.

"Did I ever tell you about my mom?"

Peter looked up confused, not he question he was anticipating. He shook his head and stared uneasily at the man.

"she was beautiful, in soul and person, she was my best friend, tough when she needed to be but over all the best mother a guy could ask for." 

Peter felt like he shouldn't be hearing this, Tony never once mentioned his parents to anyone! Maybe pepper, and Rhodey, sure, but it was one of those subjects that no matter how bad an argument was you just didn't bring it up.

"She used to sit with me on our patio when I would get in fights with my dad."

Tony loosened his grip on Peters arm and instead drummed his fingers against the limb.

The boy could feel Tony's hands shaking and almost felt guilt for what he did, so he kept his gaze set on the moon in the sky.

"She would hold my hand and say- 'Tony you know how that man can get.'" 

The older man chuckled at the memory.

"You just gotta stand tall and keep going."

Tony stopped his drumming and reached to grab Peters hand.

"Hey." 

Tony said shaking his hand a little giving attention back to his brown eyes. 

"It hurt so bad when I lost her Pete." 

Peter felt vulnerable, he scrunched his legs to his chest and wanted to tear his eyes away from Tony's but the man was insistent on his gaze. 

"I was standing right over there one day, many many years ago." 

peter let his eyes follow Tony's pointing finger to the edge of the roof.

"You know things could have been good, business was booming and Stark industries was in my name now." 

Peter felt his own hands shaking. 

"But i still couldn't do it, I wanted out, I wanted to be with my mother and since the drinking wasn't working fast enough I opted for the easy way out." 

Peter wanted to cry, for Tony, for himself, he didn't deserve to hear this, he knew that- but here he was, letting THE Tony Stark spill his guts to a 15 year old. 

"And yet I didn't jump."

Tony rubbed his thumb over his boys hand.

His shirt rustling from the heavy breathing.

"I don't know exactly what pulled me off that ledge, I think it was my own stubbornness refusing to give in- but then again I was also curious."

Tony sighed.  
"I wanted to see what tomorrow would bring, then the next day ,and the next- and good things happened- I met Pepper, I met Happy, and I let the bad things happen too- I got kidnapped, got hurt, but hey im still here." 

Tony gripped his hand tighter knowing that he couldn't possibly hurt him, so Peter looked in his eyes.

"And then the absolute best thing happened to me."

Peter thought of the first Iron Man suit, of when he made asked Pepper to marry him, or when the avengers got together- "I gained a son." 

peter was taken back.

"I met you peter."

Peter finally swiped at the tears from his cheeks.

"Pepper filled what needed to be filled in my heart, Happy and Rhodey too- not even the thrill of being an Avenger ever made me truly happy!- but you completed me Peter." 

The boy shook his head, curls bouncing in the wind but Tony reached up and forced the boy to look at him. 

"yes Peter- look at me- you fixed me Pete." 

Peter was openly crying at this point, Tony wanted to gather the boy in his arms and hold him but he needed to get his point across so he continued,

"I almost gave up again Peter, after everything that happened in Siberia and with the Avengers falling apart, But that next week when you were in the lab with me, and we were working on your spidey suit with that big gleaming smile on your face, I knew what you meant to me, and I knew that i couldn't let you go."

Peter choked on a sob and wanted to pull his hand away but Tony's fingers laced around his held its firm grip. He knew he could easily pull away, but the anchor of the grip kept him grounded. 

Kept him here.

"I get why you want to do it Peter, trust me out of all the people in this world I . Understand .You." 

Tony leaned closer every word and stared deeply at the large brown eyes to get his words through the boys thick skull. 

"I- I just want the pain to stop." 

the boy stared down at his lap, the fibers in his pants looking more interesting by the second. 

"And I wish I could take it away kiddo."

The sun was starting to rise over the far horizon. Not realizing how fast time flew when you were having a crisis.

"I would give up everything- the suits, the money my own life-id leave the avengers behind if it meant that I could take away your pain Peter."

tony finally let go of peters hand to stand up and stand in front of the boy, and kneel on the floor facing the patio chair that was holding the spider hybrid.

"But I cant do that right now, not alone." The man rested a hand on the chairs arm rest and Peter could tell he was trying to keep himself together. 

"We can do it together Peter, one day at a time, one second, like right now- look." 

Tony turned his head to point at the rapidly rising sun.

"It's already a new day, yesterdays mistakes are gone, that anger and fear is old and gone- and now we start over." 

Peter could only nod at Tony's words, they held more depth to him than any thing else right now, even if Peter couldn't convince himself that everything was OK, then Mr Stark would have to do it for him.

"Whats one of your Star Wars quotes? Live long and prosper?" 

Peter snorted and swiped at his nose.

"That's Star Trek." 

Tony smiled and stood up holding out his hand ,he pulled the boy up on his feet and the man went to wrap his arm tight around the boys shoulders.

"Like the sun we will live to rise." 

Peter raised an eyebrow at the mans quote.

"Chris Cornell? Sound garden? Nothing?" 

Peter shrugged his shoulders, a blank look on his face.

Tony feigned hurt in his voice "Oh your generation is going to kill me, that's like, my 2nd favorite song."

The boy just smiled and leaned against his father figure. 

"Whats your first favorite song?"

"Iron Man by Black Sabbath-Duh."

Tony led the two back down the stairs, the whole time the older man was humming the first song until they reached the main living room, and after the two agreed to watch a movie, they promptly fell asleep 10 minutes into it.

The room was cleaned up by the time the two woke up later that afternoon.

The pills were removed.

The once messy bed was made and shattered curtain frame was re-hung up and drawn back to let the sunlight into the room.

Tony couldn't stop the sun from setting. 

But he would be damn sure that Peter would live to see it rise.

**Author's Note:**

> Whew! Thank ya'll for reading!  
> my 2nd story!!  
> any feedback would be appreciated! :D  
> songs mentioned:  
> Soundgarden-Live to rise  
> Black Sabbath: IronMan


End file.
